Loss has felt like a real theme in supervision this week…and as has been key within my work, during a worldwide pandemic, I am not immune. September and the school term time remains an ingrained marker for children and adults alike. It connects us at a deep level, to the seasons. The virus has been key in reconnecting us to the primal. There is fear around about a second wave and this seems connected to all that the promise of September usually holds. The school holidays that we have so far been in lockdown for, somehow still had an energy of positivity about them and a desire to “make the best of it”. There is real exhaustion among the headteachers we are seeing see at Talking Heads. They have been working tirelessly throughout whilst trying to manage all of their personal demands. The concept of not having a summer break is increasingly intolerable. The concept of trying to lead and hold everyone else’s confusion and the demand to be the person that make sense of it all? Its too much. With no break…no rest. No time to be with family and friends but the fear of the “how” to do something that is shrouded in unknown and fear. Some supervisees are noticing that if a second wave hits…they have at last dealt with it once so the planning is there. But that may well not be the case-it will likely need tweaking as new information is gleaned.
So how to hold “hope” has felt key this week and it is so important that this has coincided with the shift in weather. This pandemic makes it very clear how impacted we are by the natural world. On every level and it absolutely includes our psychological experiences. Supervision has been allowing these feelings to be known and explored. There is a loss of hope and fear, despair that has generally not yet been felt by Heads. The energy of the initial panic has subsided along with the creativity, the panic buying, the immediate seeking of connection online…it is all very tiring now. Children are feeling the isolation. We all are…we seek and need connection at every level. Supervision has been a supportive place these last few weeks. Less about the planning and thinking and much more about the fear and exhaustion. The desire for me to truly comfort supervisees at times as some have wept…through Zoom. I wish to climb through the screen but cannot. This is what we are missing….and we are in a limbo of needing to understand and process past the initial panic phase, loss…we are into an angry/denial/hopeless place. We are grieving I think but maybe don’t know it. It is how I am making sense of it…how it is coming up in sessions. What do you think?